dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
