this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
