he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
