we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
