is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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