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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

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• (727): View more from Florida

  So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Awkward

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• (858): View more from California

  I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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• (315): View more from New York

  You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Fuck you.

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• (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men

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