hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
