He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
