from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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