god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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