Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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