Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
