Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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