I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
