Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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