Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
