yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
