I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
