I just pynch a tree in the face
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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