just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
