Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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