the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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