sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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