You just made me feel so damn special
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
