so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wrigley field is MILF paradise
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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