wat bout pragnant strippers??
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
