i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
