I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
smell my finger.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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