You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
