It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
