My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize