dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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