i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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