I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
