Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
