ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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