I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
