names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
