4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
