Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she looked like the before picture.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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