I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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