if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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