I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
