am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
