so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my sisters under your porch take her home
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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