no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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