I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
