She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
