Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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