that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
