Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
