And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize