your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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