There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
