I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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