I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
