how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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