I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
