He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
