I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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